By Daniel Rigney
This just in. We’re told that Craig’s List in Chicago reports the following items lost and found in the Chicagoland area over the last 48 hours. These entries are real, though lightly edited. You can look them up. More from WGN News at noon. And for more about Craig’s List itself, stay tuned for a comment coming up later in this broadcast.
And now for a fleeting glance at ephemeral culture—to be read on the fly, of course -- from the folks who brought you “Lost Angels in Los Angeles” and “Real NYRB Personals.”
Thu May 12
Lost: teddy bear, wearing a red vest, appears in photo holding a cordless phone in his lap while maintaining a contemplative Buddhist silence. (lost near red line and Loyola)
Lost: pink blanket (Naperville) [ed: Entry doesn’t specify blanket’s gender]
Lost: orange tabby, in snow. Has original claws. Is fixed. Small slit on left ear. (Arlington Heights)
Tips: What to do if you find a lost dog. First, find Lost Dogs Illinois on facebook.]
For Hire: pet detective with bloodhound. Helps find pets lost on weekends only. As seen on national TV. (Chicago) [ed. tip: Never lose a pet on a weekday.]
Lost: wallet. Describe wallet and contents [ed.: or former contents.] (N. Broadway)
Lost: magnetized wireless trailer lights for tow truck. (Chicago)
Found: “something” at Chicago City Colleges (CCC) graduation. (IUC Pavilion). [ed.: “Something?” The mind races.]
Wed May 11
Lost: Bloodhound named Luther. (Michigan City). [ed.: This looks like a job for the pet detective above.]
Found: orange cat w/microchip. Will return to owner. (N. Paulina)
Lost: Left bag in your car on our way to Porn and Chicken night at evilOlive [party club in Chicago. I’m not making these names up.]. Return to me at Starbucks, where I work.
Found: orange and black cat. No identification. (Wicker Park/Bucktown)
Found: gold charm [not a lucky charm, apparently] in Libertyville hospital parking lot.
Lost: keys attached to poi strap and bottle opener. $20 reward. (Depaul Lincoln Park Campus)
Found: male wedding ring/female engagement ring (North Side) [ed.: huh?]
Lost: orange male cat, age 3, named Boo Boo [answers to no one?]. (45th and California)
Lost: Black North Face backpack in a cab (Lincoln Park)
Lost: 3G iPhone in a cab (North Shore)
Lost: Red Loyola flash drive. (Loyola? )
Lost: Digital Nikon camera in bleachers at Wrigley Field, with pictures of IUC graduation, street performers. Reward . [Please. No Cubs jokes about losing at Wrigley. I’m asking nicely.]
Found: keys (Milwaukee and Armitage)
Found: keys (Michigan and Jackson)
Lost: Diplomas – high school, college, and professional. Reward! [ed: Were the diplomas from CCC, DePaul, IUC, or Loyola? Just asking.]
Lost Nokona softball glove. Sentimental value. Had this glove for 16 years. (Winnemac Park)
Lost: brown plastic prescription glasses in case. Reward. [ed.: I can’t find them. I don’t have my glasses.]
Lost: $250 reward for lost dog. Two collars. One collar has flowers and the other has black and pink swirls. (Lawndale) [ed: Dog answers to the name of “make up your own joke here.”]
Found: Debit card. (Ravenswood neighborhood) [ed.: Please send PIN to authenticate.]
Final Note from Craig: “it’s NOT OK to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests.” [ed: Craig’s List would never think of tolerating or profiting from this sort of trafficking ]
Lessons Taken: Don’t go to college, don’t participate in baseball or softball events, and never own an orange cat, unless you already have one, or course – in which case, please fix it, implant a chip in it, and try not to lose it. And if you lose your bloodhound, hire another bloodhound to find it.
As for the whole concept of “lost and found,” don’t make me get all metaphorical on you.
This just in. We’re told that Craig’s List in Chicago reports the following items lost and found in the Chicagoland area over the last 48 hours. These entries are real, though lightly edited. You can look them up. More from WGN News at noon. And for more about Craig’s List itself, stay tuned for a comment coming up later in this broadcast.
And now for a fleeting glance at ephemeral culture—to be read on the fly, of course -- from the folks who brought you “Lost Angels in Los Angeles” and “Real NYRB Personals.”
Thu May 12
Lost: teddy bear, wearing a red vest, appears in photo holding a cordless phone in his lap while maintaining a contemplative Buddhist silence. (lost near red line and Loyola)
Lost: pink blanket (Naperville) [ed: Entry doesn’t specify blanket’s gender]
Lost: orange tabby, in snow. Has original claws. Is fixed. Small slit on left ear. (Arlington Heights)
Tips: What to do if you find a lost dog. First, find Lost Dogs Illinois on facebook.]
For Hire: pet detective with bloodhound. Helps find pets lost on weekends only. As seen on national TV. (Chicago) [ed. tip: Never lose a pet on a weekday.]
Lost: wallet. Describe wallet and contents [ed.: or former contents.] (N. Broadway)
Lost: magnetized wireless trailer lights for tow truck. (Chicago)
Found: “something” at Chicago City Colleges (CCC) graduation. (IUC Pavilion). [ed.: “Something?” The mind races.]
Wed May 11
Lost: Bloodhound named Luther. (Michigan City). [ed.: This looks like a job for the pet detective above.]
Found: orange cat w/microchip. Will return to owner. (N. Paulina)
Lost: Left bag in your car on our way to Porn and Chicken night at evilOlive [party club in Chicago. I’m not making these names up.]. Return to me at Starbucks, where I work.
Found: orange and black cat. No identification. (Wicker Park/Bucktown)
Found: gold charm [not a lucky charm, apparently] in Libertyville hospital parking lot.
Lost: keys attached to poi strap and bottle opener. $20 reward. (Depaul Lincoln Park Campus)
Found: male wedding ring/female engagement ring (North Side) [ed.: huh?]
Lost: orange male cat, age 3, named Boo Boo [answers to no one?]. (45th and California)
Lost: Black North Face backpack in a cab (Lincoln Park)
Lost: 3G iPhone in a cab (North Shore)
Lost: Red Loyola flash drive. (Loyola? )
Lost: Digital Nikon camera in bleachers at Wrigley Field, with pictures of IUC graduation, street performers. Reward . [Please. No Cubs jokes about losing at Wrigley. I’m asking nicely.]
Found: keys (Milwaukee and Armitage)
Found: keys (Michigan and Jackson)
Lost: Diplomas – high school, college, and professional. Reward! [ed: Were the diplomas from CCC, DePaul, IUC, or Loyola? Just asking.]
Lost Nokona softball glove. Sentimental value. Had this glove for 16 years. (Winnemac Park)
Lost: brown plastic prescription glasses in case. Reward. [ed.: I can’t find them. I don’t have my glasses.]
Lost: $250 reward for lost dog. Two collars. One collar has flowers and the other has black and pink swirls. (Lawndale) [ed: Dog answers to the name of “make up your own joke here.”]
Found: Debit card. (Ravenswood neighborhood) [ed.: Please send PIN to authenticate.]
Final Note from Craig: “it’s NOT OK to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests.” [ed: Craig’s List would never think of tolerating or profiting from this sort of trafficking ]
Lessons Taken: Don’t go to college, don’t participate in baseball or softball events, and never own an orange cat, unless you already have one, or course – in which case, please fix it, implant a chip in it, and try not to lose it. And if you lose your bloodhound, hire another bloodhound to find it.
As for the whole concept of “lost and found,” don’t make me get all metaphorical on you.
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