By Daniel Rigney
I don’t mean to startle you with this personal revelation, but I have good scientific reason to believe that I’m only about 95% Homo sapiens. The rest of me is a hardy blend of Neanderthal and Denisovan genetic material – 2.2% and 2.5% respectively, to be nearly exact.
Don’t be frightened. I’m probably harmless. And chances are you have a dash of non-human DNA yourself, so please, no "humaner than thou” attitude. In any case, modern genetics seems to be sweeping the very notion of human “purity” into the dustbin of history, and I say good riddance.
How do I know so much about my deep ancestry? A few months ago I sent a swab from my inner cheeks (the ones in my mouth) to the Genographic Project at National Geographic, where a team of genetic technicians performed scientific rituals on my DNA. The results proved conclusively what I had previously suspected and reported here. I’m not fully human, whatever “fully human” might mean these days, if anything.
Friends have suggested that I’ve always seemed a bit Neanderthal – noting, for instance, that I sometimes speak crudely and have never fully mastered the art of eating with human utensils. Their suspicions, and mine, have now been scientifically confirmed.
Neanderthal was a close European relative of anatomically modern Homo sapiens, and Denisovan was an Asian cousin. They’re both extinct now. We seem to have out-competed them, or killed them off, but not before skinny-dipping in their gene pools. Remnants of their DNA live on in those of us whose ancestors left Africa, populated Eurasia, and had carnal knowledge of other hominids. It is arguable, therefore, that the only populations whose genes are fully Homo sapient are those whose ancestors remained in Africa following human migrations northward, and thus did not comingle their precious bodily fluids with the Neanderthals and Denisovans of Eurasia.
Of course, if we dig deep enough down the root system of the hominid family tree, we're all Africans, including us part-Neanderthals and part-Denisovans.
The scientific evidence that people of European descent are less than purely Homo sapiens may come as an existential shock to white racists, whose traditional notions of human or racial purity are being turned inside out by modern science. Genetically speaking, if anyone is “purely” human, it’s Africans. Oh darkly comic irony! Oh whiplash of history!
Philosophers should have a field day exploring the implications of the discovery that so many of our European and Asian ancestors mated outside their species. Should human rights now be renamed “hominid rights”? And should the much-maligned Neanderthals and heretofore obscure Denisovans finally get the respect they deserve after so many years of supposed extinction? In a poetic sense, they never really died off. Their genetic remnants have survived and live on among and within us. We have met the other, and it is us.
Having a smidgen of non-human DNA may arouse feelings of embarrassment and shame in some. As for me, I’m perfectly content to be a hybrid specimen of a still-evolving species. At my next social event or job interview, I plan to introduce myself by saying, “Hi! My name is _____, and I’m part Neanderthal.” I look forward to the stimulating conversations that will surely follow.
I urge you to do the same. And let me know how it works out for you on your next trip to that online dating service, singles bar or personnel office. Or unemployment line.
Danagram
For more thoughtful commentary on our self-admiring species, Homo sapiens (literally, “the wise human”), see Homo Semi-Sapiens and A Petition to Rename Homo Sapiens.
I don’t mean to startle you with this personal revelation, but I have good scientific reason to believe that I’m only about 95% Homo sapiens. The rest of me is a hardy blend of Neanderthal and Denisovan genetic material – 2.2% and 2.5% respectively, to be nearly exact.
Don’t be frightened. I’m probably harmless. And chances are you have a dash of non-human DNA yourself, so please, no "humaner than thou” attitude. In any case, modern genetics seems to be sweeping the very notion of human “purity” into the dustbin of history, and I say good riddance.
How do I know so much about my deep ancestry? A few months ago I sent a swab from my inner cheeks (the ones in my mouth) to the Genographic Project at National Geographic, where a team of genetic technicians performed scientific rituals on my DNA. The results proved conclusively what I had previously suspected and reported here. I’m not fully human, whatever “fully human” might mean these days, if anything.
Friends have suggested that I’ve always seemed a bit Neanderthal – noting, for instance, that I sometimes speak crudely and have never fully mastered the art of eating with human utensils. Their suspicions, and mine, have now been scientifically confirmed.
Neanderthal was a close European relative of anatomically modern Homo sapiens, and Denisovan was an Asian cousin. They’re both extinct now. We seem to have out-competed them, or killed them off, but not before skinny-dipping in their gene pools. Remnants of their DNA live on in those of us whose ancestors left Africa, populated Eurasia, and had carnal knowledge of other hominids. It is arguable, therefore, that the only populations whose genes are fully Homo sapient are those whose ancestors remained in Africa following human migrations northward, and thus did not comingle their precious bodily fluids with the Neanderthals and Denisovans of Eurasia.
Of course, if we dig deep enough down the root system of the hominid family tree, we're all Africans, including us part-Neanderthals and part-Denisovans.
The scientific evidence that people of European descent are less than purely Homo sapiens may come as an existential shock to white racists, whose traditional notions of human or racial purity are being turned inside out by modern science. Genetically speaking, if anyone is “purely” human, it’s Africans. Oh darkly comic irony! Oh whiplash of history!
Philosophers should have a field day exploring the implications of the discovery that so many of our European and Asian ancestors mated outside their species. Should human rights now be renamed “hominid rights”? And should the much-maligned Neanderthals and heretofore obscure Denisovans finally get the respect they deserve after so many years of supposed extinction? In a poetic sense, they never really died off. Their genetic remnants have survived and live on among and within us. We have met the other, and it is us.
Having a smidgen of non-human DNA may arouse feelings of embarrassment and shame in some. As for me, I’m perfectly content to be a hybrid specimen of a still-evolving species. At my next social event or job interview, I plan to introduce myself by saying, “Hi! My name is _____, and I’m part Neanderthal.” I look forward to the stimulating conversations that will surely follow.
I urge you to do the same. And let me know how it works out for you on your next trip to that online dating service, singles bar or personnel office. Or unemployment line.
Danagram
For more thoughtful commentary on our self-admiring species, Homo sapiens (literally, “the wise human”), see Homo Semi-Sapiens and A Petition to Rename Homo Sapiens.
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