Monday, March 16, 2015

Koch Industries Undergoes Religious Conversion

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Constitutionally Protected Satire by Daniel Rigney The U.S. Supreme Court’s decision in the case of Hobby Lobby v. Modern Contraception opens a door through which business corporations, as legal 'persons,' can pursue religious exemptions from the requirements of Federal laws they don't like. 
Following close on the heels of the Hobby Lobby decision, Koch Industries announced today that it intends to convert its religious affiliation to “the most pro-business faith we can find in the theological marketplace.” The company's decision follows a brief but intense period of corporate soul-searching, religious discernment, and Koch family prayer.
Koch Industries is the second largest privately held company in the United States, trailing only agricultural behemoth Cargill, which is rumored to be taking a sudden interest in the legal possibility of reconstituting itself as a devoutly religious megachurch for tax purposes.
Meanwhile, Exxon Mobil is said to be exploring the spiritual dimensions of fracking as its legal department builds a case for construing methane leakage as protected speech under the First Amendment.
But seriously ...
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For more in this vein, see "Can Corporations Have Religious Beliefs?"  and "When Does Corporate Personhood Begin?"






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