By Daniel Rigney
This is an edited transcript of an interview we did earlier this month with the oft-quoted writer, composer and philanthropist, Anonymous.
Danagram: We’re here in the studio this morning speaking with Anonymous, the most recent in a long line of nameless predecessors who have given so many unacknowledged gifts to the world through the ages. Thank you, Anonymous, for making time in your busy schedule to talk with us.
Anonymous: I'm pleased to be here today, but only on the understanding that you won't disclose my identity to your readers.
Danagram: Okay. So I understand you have thousands of unheralded forebears, going back at least as far as the ancient Sumerians and Egyptians. Your lineage is credited with a rich legacy of literary and artistic achievements, including Beowulf and most of The Bible, not to mention The Autobiography of a Flea, the seminal erotic novel first published anonymously in London in 1887.
Anonymous: That's right. I suspect my great-grandmother wrote that last one, but she denied it to her last heaving breath.
Danagram: Why did you and previous generations of Anonyms decide to conceal your identities? Did this arise from some profound sense of humility? A religious impulse perhaps?
Anonymous: Well, it’s hard to generalize. Some of my ancestors would probably have been thrilled to be remembered by name, but their identities were lost for one reason or another, or never recorded in the first place. I can’t speak for them. I can only speak for myself.
Danagram: Can you share some of your own motivations for remaining nameless? For example, when you donate a major gift to an institution, why do you insist on the condition of anonymity?
Anonymous: Frankly, I came to realize through the years that giving anonymously is, as the kids say, “way cooler” than building monuments to one’s own ego. There's something about big egos that seems so, well, small.
I don't see anything cool about spending a fortune to monumentalize oneself. Ozymandias did that, and look where it got him. Today he’s an object of disdain, and for good reason. The poet Shelley recounts that the inscription on the ruins of Ozymandias's statue reads, “Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!” Today his monument is a pile of rubble, and Ozymandias is remembered mainly for his pathetic narcissism, if he's remembered at all.
For a pharaoh, he sure didn't show much class. It would have been more impressive if he'd built his works incognito. Instead, he comes off looking like a tasteless, self-trumpeting Trump.
In a funny sort of way, though, there’s nothing humble about the desire for anonymous coolness. It says, “I’m so cool I don’t even care about recognition.” It’s a kind of Zen cool, beyond the distinction between coolness and not-coolness. It’s the metacoolness of absolute silence.
Danagram: As you know, several prominent organizations, including Alcoholics Anonymous and the hacker activist group calling itself ‘Anonymous,’ have taken your ancestral name as their own. Do you find this at all ironic or paradoxical?
Anonymous: No. Should I?
Danagram: Okay, then. Is it paradoxical that as "Anonymous," you’re both unidentified and extremely famous at the same time?
Anonymous: Not really.
Danagram: Surely you must be proud of the fact that your Anonymous lineage includes some of history's greatest donors, who have made prodigious gifts to universities, museums, the arts, and to political action committees whose stated aim is to serve the common good.
Anonymous: Well, some political donors are anonymous in name only. We have a pretty good idea who these “donors” are. Take the Koch machine, for instance. Please! As surreptitious political investors, they’ve made quite a notorious name for themselves with all their bogus and secretive front organizations. To me they seem like the political equivalent of an organized crime syndicate.
Danagram: While we're on the subject of wealthy donors, would you urge today’s billionaires to affirm the Buffet-Gates Giving Pledge, promising to donate at least half of their fortunes? Would you make that pledge yourself -- anonymously of course -- if you were a billionaire?
Anonymous: What makes you think I haven’t done so already? And how would you know if I had?
Danagram: Sorry, I don't mean to pry. You’ve been more than generous with your time today here at Danagram, and we thank you for being with us. Have a safe trip back to the North Pole, and give our best to your husband and the elves.
Anonymous: And thank you for blowing my cover, jerk.
Danagram
;] … interviewing fictional characters since 2013
This is an edited transcript of an interview we did earlier this month with the oft-quoted writer, composer and philanthropist, Anonymous.
Danagram: We’re here in the studio this morning speaking with Anonymous, the most recent in a long line of nameless predecessors who have given so many unacknowledged gifts to the world through the ages. Thank you, Anonymous, for making time in your busy schedule to talk with us.
Anonymous: I'm pleased to be here today, but only on the understanding that you won't disclose my identity to your readers.
Danagram: Okay. So I understand you have thousands of unheralded forebears, going back at least as far as the ancient Sumerians and Egyptians. Your lineage is credited with a rich legacy of literary and artistic achievements, including Beowulf and most of The Bible, not to mention The Autobiography of a Flea, the seminal erotic novel first published anonymously in London in 1887.
Anonymous: That's right. I suspect my great-grandmother wrote that last one, but she denied it to her last heaving breath.
Danagram: Why did you and previous generations of Anonyms decide to conceal your identities? Did this arise from some profound sense of humility? A religious impulse perhaps?
Anonymous: Well, it’s hard to generalize. Some of my ancestors would probably have been thrilled to be remembered by name, but their identities were lost for one reason or another, or never recorded in the first place. I can’t speak for them. I can only speak for myself.
Danagram: Can you share some of your own motivations for remaining nameless? For example, when you donate a major gift to an institution, why do you insist on the condition of anonymity?
Anonymous: Frankly, I came to realize through the years that giving anonymously is, as the kids say, “way cooler” than building monuments to one’s own ego. There's something about big egos that seems so, well, small.
I don't see anything cool about spending a fortune to monumentalize oneself. Ozymandias did that, and look where it got him. Today he’s an object of disdain, and for good reason. The poet Shelley recounts that the inscription on the ruins of Ozymandias's statue reads, “Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!” Today his monument is a pile of rubble, and Ozymandias is remembered mainly for his pathetic narcissism, if he's remembered at all.
For a pharaoh, he sure didn't show much class. It would have been more impressive if he'd built his works incognito. Instead, he comes off looking like a tasteless, self-trumpeting Trump.
In a funny sort of way, though, there’s nothing humble about the desire for anonymous coolness. It says, “I’m so cool I don’t even care about recognition.” It’s a kind of Zen cool, beyond the distinction between coolness and not-coolness. It’s the metacoolness of absolute silence.
Danagram: As you know, several prominent organizations, including Alcoholics Anonymous and the hacker activist group calling itself ‘Anonymous,’ have taken your ancestral name as their own. Do you find this at all ironic or paradoxical?
Anonymous: No. Should I?
Danagram: Okay, then. Is it paradoxical that as "Anonymous," you’re both unidentified and extremely famous at the same time?
Anonymous: Not really.
Danagram: Surely you must be proud of the fact that your Anonymous lineage includes some of history's greatest donors, who have made prodigious gifts to universities, museums, the arts, and to political action committees whose stated aim is to serve the common good.
Anonymous: Well, some political donors are anonymous in name only. We have a pretty good idea who these “donors” are. Take the Koch machine, for instance. Please! As surreptitious political investors, they’ve made quite a notorious name for themselves with all their bogus and secretive front organizations. To me they seem like the political equivalent of an organized crime syndicate.
Danagram: While we're on the subject of wealthy donors, would you urge today’s billionaires to affirm the Buffet-Gates Giving Pledge, promising to donate at least half of their fortunes? Would you make that pledge yourself -- anonymously of course -- if you were a billionaire?
Anonymous: What makes you think I haven’t done so already? And how would you know if I had?
Danagram: Sorry, I don't mean to pry. You’ve been more than generous with your time today here at Danagram, and we thank you for being with us. Have a safe trip back to the North Pole, and give our best to your husband and the elves.
Anonymous: And thank you for blowing my cover, jerk.
Danagram
;] … interviewing fictional characters since 2013
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