By Daniel Rigney
An editorial cartoon by Chan Lowe in the South Florida Sun Sentinel poses the question, “Can corporations have religious beliefs?” The question has arisen recently as companies such as Hobby Lobby have challenged legal provisions in the Affordable Care Act on religious grounds.
[Update: The U.S. Supreme Court found in favor of Hobby Lobby in its June 30 decision to uphold the first amendment religious rights of legally fictitious corporate persons.]
I decided to find out more about the moral and spiritual lives of corporations as legal persons, so I dialed up the CEOs of several major U.S. businesses to find out just how they understand their companies’ personal relationship with Ultimate Reality. Here’s what I learned.
Exxon Mobil, based in suburban Dallas, is a born-again Southern Baptist, and therefore believes steadfastly in adult baptism by full immersion, symbolizing the cleansing of sins and the mature acceptance of Jesus Christ as its corporate savior. Exxon Mobil was baptized at the age of 13 in Irving, Texas as its parents, Standard of New Jersey and Humble Oil and Refining, bore proud witness to the gift of its eternal salvation.
Wall Street’s interfaith relationship between J.P. Morgan and Goldman Sachs is the subject of considerable theological discussion in both Anglo-Saxon Protestant and Jewish households. Ecumenical dialogue continues between these two deeply spiritual corporate entities.
Other corporations reaching out to one another across religious lines include the staunchly Catholic Domino’s Pizza and the fundamentalist Protestant Hobby Lobby, now joining hands and praying fervently for the failure of Muslim-yet-atheist Barack Obama’s hellish plan to extend affordable health care, including contraceptive coverage, to the medically uninsured.
Meanwhile, inventive cultural engineers at Google are prayerfully at work on a startup religion. It’s not official yet, but Google is expected to roll out a new line of transcendently smart spiritual software ("soulware" or "spiritware") as early as Christmas to compete with other ethereal products in the lucrative religious marketplace.
While American corporations hold diverse faiths, they share a common fidelity to at least one core value: the sanctity of private property. Property and its boundless accumulation are sacred, it seems, especially to those who have a lot of it.
Danagram
Readers who found this religious reflection offensive may also be offended by “When Does Corporate Personhood Begin?”
An editorial cartoon by Chan Lowe in the South Florida Sun Sentinel poses the question, “Can corporations have religious beliefs?” The question has arisen recently as companies such as Hobby Lobby have challenged legal provisions in the Affordable Care Act on religious grounds.
[Update: The U.S. Supreme Court found in favor of Hobby Lobby in its June 30 decision to uphold the first amendment religious rights of legally fictitious corporate persons.]
I decided to find out more about the moral and spiritual lives of corporations as legal persons, so I dialed up the CEOs of several major U.S. businesses to find out just how they understand their companies’ personal relationship with Ultimate Reality. Here’s what I learned.
Exxon Mobil, based in suburban Dallas, is a born-again Southern Baptist, and therefore believes steadfastly in adult baptism by full immersion, symbolizing the cleansing of sins and the mature acceptance of Jesus Christ as its corporate savior. Exxon Mobil was baptized at the age of 13 in Irving, Texas as its parents, Standard of New Jersey and Humble Oil and Refining, bore proud witness to the gift of its eternal salvation.
Wall Street’s interfaith relationship between J.P. Morgan and Goldman Sachs is the subject of considerable theological discussion in both Anglo-Saxon Protestant and Jewish households. Ecumenical dialogue continues between these two deeply spiritual corporate entities.
Other corporations reaching out to one another across religious lines include the staunchly Catholic Domino’s Pizza and the fundamentalist Protestant Hobby Lobby, now joining hands and praying fervently for the failure of Muslim-yet-atheist Barack Obama’s hellish plan to extend affordable health care, including contraceptive coverage, to the medically uninsured.
Meanwhile, inventive cultural engineers at Google are prayerfully at work on a startup religion. It’s not official yet, but Google is expected to roll out a new line of transcendently smart spiritual software ("soulware" or "spiritware") as early as Christmas to compete with other ethereal products in the lucrative religious marketplace.
While American corporations hold diverse faiths, they share a common fidelity to at least one core value: the sanctity of private property. Property and its boundless accumulation are sacred, it seems, especially to those who have a lot of it.
Danagram
Readers who found this religious reflection offensive may also be offended by “When Does Corporate Personhood Begin?”
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