By Daniel Rigney
Danagram: Today we're interviewing Autocomplete, the Google search 'smart feature' that offers to complete people’s thoughts for them. You've seen it before. It's the menu that drops down under the Google search box after you've entered a word or phrase. It tries to guess what you're searching for.
How are you feeling today, Auto?
Autocomplete: “I feel pretty.” “I feel like dying.” “I feel good.” “I feel pretty lyrics.”
Danagram: I assume you’re referring to the lyrics of the song, “I Feel Pretty,” from “West Side Story.” Are you a big fan of musical theater?
Autocomplete: Musicals are “gay.” “stupid,” “italicized,” and “terrible.”
Danagram: Sounds like you may be a little homophobic. What do you think of gay people?
Autocomplete: Gay is “a choice,” “wrong,” “an abomination to God,” and “okay.”
Danagram: That last thought-completion makes you sound a bit conflicted on the subject. No wonder, since the responses you give are just aggregates of the responses of millions of searching people, and we human beings are deeply conflicted about many things. Like the issue of “race,” for instance, or as I prefer to say, ethnicity.
Autocomplete: “Race is a social construct.”
Danagram: I certainly agree. And what about class? How do you view the rich and poor?
Autocomplete: The rich are “good natured,” “getting richer,” and “different from us.”
Danagram: I see you’re quoting the apocryphal exchange between Hemingway and Fitzgerald, where Fitzgerald says, “the rich are different from you and me,” and Hemingway supposedly replies, “Yes. They have more money.”
And what about your views on the poor?
Autocomplete: The poor are “always with us,” “getting poorer,” “lazy,” but “rich in faith.”
Danagram: If you say so. You seem to speak for the Internet itself, and there's not a much higher authority than that nowadays.
Let’s probe for just a moment your views on the subject of men and women. What are men like in general? And women?
Autocomplete: “men are from mars women are from venus.” [sic punctuation] “Men are better than women.” “Women are better than men.” “Women are shallow.” "men are like waffles women are like spaghetti." [sic]
Danagram: Once again, you’re sounding awfully conflicted and confused, like the searchers whose queries you assemble. What do you think men and women should do?
Autocomplete: Women should “stay at home,” “not work” “not vote,” and “not preach.” Men should “not get married.”
Danagram: I recall that you made similar remarks on the Twitter account, @Amazing_Maps recently. Scuse me for saying so, but now you're coming across as a misogynistic old coot. I suppose you just reflect the attitudes of searchers around the world on any given subject. As Walt Whitman wrote, … complete my thought if you can ... "I am large ....
Autocomplete: I contain multitudes.”
Danagram: That's it. Thanks for being with us today. It’s not every day we get to interview a system of secret algorithms.
Danagram
For more in this vein, see The Autocorrect Game, The Algorithmic Society, and An Interview With Anonymous.
Danagram: Today we're interviewing Autocomplete, the Google search 'smart feature' that offers to complete people’s thoughts for them. You've seen it before. It's the menu that drops down under the Google search box after you've entered a word or phrase. It tries to guess what you're searching for.
How are you feeling today, Auto?
Autocomplete: “I feel pretty.” “I feel like dying.” “I feel good.” “I feel pretty lyrics.”
Danagram: I assume you’re referring to the lyrics of the song, “I Feel Pretty,” from “West Side Story.” Are you a big fan of musical theater?
Autocomplete: Musicals are “gay.” “stupid,” “italicized,” and “terrible.”
Danagram: Sounds like you may be a little homophobic. What do you think of gay people?
Autocomplete: Gay is “a choice,” “wrong,” “an abomination to God,” and “okay.”
Danagram: That last thought-completion makes you sound a bit conflicted on the subject. No wonder, since the responses you give are just aggregates of the responses of millions of searching people, and we human beings are deeply conflicted about many things. Like the issue of “race,” for instance, or as I prefer to say, ethnicity.
Autocomplete: “Race is a social construct.”
Danagram: I certainly agree. And what about class? How do you view the rich and poor?
Autocomplete: The rich are “good natured,” “getting richer,” and “different from us.”
Danagram: I see you’re quoting the apocryphal exchange between Hemingway and Fitzgerald, where Fitzgerald says, “the rich are different from you and me,” and Hemingway supposedly replies, “Yes. They have more money.”
And what about your views on the poor?
Autocomplete: The poor are “always with us,” “getting poorer,” “lazy,” but “rich in faith.”
Danagram: If you say so. You seem to speak for the Internet itself, and there's not a much higher authority than that nowadays.
Let’s probe for just a moment your views on the subject of men and women. What are men like in general? And women?
Autocomplete: “men are from mars women are from venus.” [sic punctuation] “Men are better than women.” “Women are better than men.” “Women are shallow.” "men are like waffles women are like spaghetti." [sic]
Danagram: Once again, you’re sounding awfully conflicted and confused, like the searchers whose queries you assemble. What do you think men and women should do?
Autocomplete: Women should “stay at home,” “not work” “not vote,” and “not preach.” Men should “not get married.”
Danagram: I recall that you made similar remarks on the Twitter account, @Amazing_Maps recently. Scuse me for saying so, but now you're coming across as a misogynistic old coot. I suppose you just reflect the attitudes of searchers around the world on any given subject. As Walt Whitman wrote, … complete my thought if you can ... "I am large ....
Autocomplete: I contain multitudes.”
Danagram: That's it. Thanks for being with us today. It’s not every day we get to interview a system of secret algorithms.
Danagram
For more in this vein, see The Autocorrect Game, The Algorithmic Society, and An Interview With Anonymous.
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